John Gottman, a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, entered the field of psychological research with a background in advanced mathematics and statistical analysis. In the course of his 45+ year career he has developed mathematical models, scales, and formulas to identify the elements of stability in relationships and the interactive patterns that cause couples to divorce.

 

Gottman was drawn to this research topic due to his own puzzlement at how people develop happy relationships. Gottman’s research pointed to relationship difficulties caused by the “Four Horsemen,” named after the famous Albrecht Durer engraving Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These factors predictive of divorce include:

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1. Criticism of the partner’s personality

2. Defensiveness rather than working through problems

3. Stonewalling, or refusing to interact

4. Contempt 

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Couples who function effectively treat each other with consideration, and are supportive of each other. The goals of the Gottman Method include increasing closeness and friendship behaviors, addressing conflict productively, and building a life of shared meaning together. The Gottman Method involves customizing principles from the research to each couple’s particular patterns and challenges. 

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Through his research Dr. Gottman created "The Sound Marriage House" that shows the important skills or talents the partners must have and enduring relationship. The method is sound, and if practiced by clients will result in a happier home and stronger relationships.  

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In counseling you will learn more about the dynamic factors in your relationship, how they interact either positively or negatively, and new skills to work through behaviors, verbal patterns and the dynamics that lead to stability.